A FABLE IN TWO PARTS: THE ACCIDENTS

TODAY’S MODERN FABLE

For other modern fables see The Bird and the Fry and The Stump and Two Determined Men.

THE HUSBAND AND THE CLAY COURT

Once upon a time there was a husband who was named John. John was tall and athletic. He liked to compete. By chance, two people asked John if he and his wife would like to play mixed doubles at the tennis courts at the YMCA.

“Oh no,” his wife said. “I have a terrible serve and do not play well.”

“Nonsense,” he said.

So they went to play. Back and forth they hit the ball, John taking most of the shots because of his superior ability. They lost the first set even though he tried hard. They switched partners. This time John won because he was not playing with his wife. But there was unhappiness. Finally they played together again.

“We will do better this time, now that we are warmed up,” John declared.

All over the court he sprinted taking as many shots as possible. Finally a ball came flying over and he went to retrieve it with his very showy running forehand. But his feet slipped.

“Uh oh”, he said to himself, “I am falling. I must execute my famous tuck and roll which I learned as a young lad.”

But alas, the tuck did not quite happen. What did happen was much blood and a broken bone.

(Moral to follow Part Two)

THE SISTER AND THE PILASTER

Once upon a time there was a sister named Peggy. On a cold and windy day in Maryland, Peggy went out to fetch the mail.

“Br-r-r-r,” she said. “It is mightily cold out here. I should have worn my coat!”

But, alas , she had not worn her coat and wanted to get back into the house as quickly as possible.

Up the driveway at a jog, she ran. Onto the sidewalk and to the steps leading up to the front door.

“I shall just run up these steps and get into the warm house,” she said.

There were only two steps. She jogged up the first one with her right foot. When she lifted her left foot, she did not lift it quite high enough.

“Uh oh,” she thought, “I am tripping!”

Headlong into the pilaster by the front door she went. She hit the top of her head solidly into it.

THE MORALS OF THESE STORIES

1) Hard things are no match for soft human tissues and bone.
2) It is better not to try too hard to do something than suffer the consequences.
3) Even though your brain still thinks you are young, sometimes your body just doesn’t believe it.

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