THE BRIDGE OF THIGHS

TODAY’S WORRY

Do you remember when it used to be fun to fly? When you actually considered looking nice because you were going on a plane? Now you try to figure out which shoes are the easiest to take off. We had airplane fun on Tuesday when we flew Southwest from Tampa to Las Vegas via Phoenix. How many Floridians could there be flying at 2:30 PM on a Tuesday to Phoenix? Surely the plane wouldn’t be full. Wrong! John and I took window and aisle seats fairly far back in the plane and then leaned towards the center so people would be discouraged from sitting with us. But when the plane is full, every seat is taken. A nice lady sat between us. We got to know each other’s thighs way too well during the next almost 5 hours. If there is one thing that could spur me to actually lose weight, it would be to fit better in an airplane seat. I might send my seat companion a suggestion to do the same as well.

After a while, she fell asleep trapping me in my window seat. They tell you to stay hydrated on the plane but that’s not a good idea if you are trapped. This also cut off all conversation between John and me. So we started passing notes over her sleeping head. Here is the actual stupid note conversation.

John: (after 3 interminable hours) Are we in Frankfurt yet?
Mary: We haven’t the mustard to sit much longer. I relish the end of this flight.
John: Our buns are quite toasted, I fear.
Mary: I’ll be in a pickle if there is not time for a restroom stop between flights.
John: Johann will be a mighty sour kraut when he finds he got on the Phoenix flight.
Mary: He will have to ketchup on the European news at the airport.

I think they need to show movies.

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