HAVE I GOT A JOB FOR YOU!

TODAY’S SILLINESS

Last January, I was making a phone call from my sister’s house. I was trying to track down a bridesmaid dress for Ryan. My brother-in-law, Gary, was in the kitchen when I made the call to the bridal shop. He burst out laughing when I asked to speak to Marius. “What a perfect name for a guy who works in a bridal shop! Marius! (Marry us) So in honor of my brother-in-law, Gary, I present the list of all-time great job names. (As you can see, John and I have waayyy too much time on our hands.) John’s favorite is Manuel, the tech writer while I like Hy, the doorman.

I’m sure there are more. If you can think of any send them on.

Abby, monk
Ace, tennis pro
Allen, mechanic
Allie, bowler
Amy, riflery instructor
Asa, card sharp
Axel, mechanic
Adam, accountant (say it slowly)
Art, painter
Barney, farmer
Bart, transit worker
Bentley, luxury car salesman
Bernie, arsonist/fireman
Betty, gambler
Blaise, firefighter
Bob, hairdresser
Bill, cashier
Billy, goatherd
Birdy, golf pro
Bitsy, computer programmer
Boris, lecturer
Brad, finish carpenter
Bruce, maker of beer/fighter
Buck, loan officer
Bud, tree surgeon
Candy, nutritionist
Carol, singer
Carrie, porter
Castor, rolling chair designer
Chad, poll worker
Chester, thoracic surgeon
Chip, electrical engineer
Chuck, butcher
Claude, cat breeder
Cliff, mountain climber
Cody, cryptographer/programmer
Colin, proctologist
Connie/Connor, grifter
Daisy, florist
Dan, judo instructor
Dawn, dishwasher
Dean, college administrator
Dee Dee, bra fitter
Delia, croupier
Dick, detective/pornstar
Dolly, furniture mover
Don, mafioso
Doug, retired backhoe operator
Dustin, housekeeper
Earl, English lord/webmaster
Ed, teacher
Elmer, arborist
Emmy, television actress/coroner
Esther, organic chemist
Fanny, ventilation consultant
Flo, hydrologist
Frank, hot dog vendor
Gail, meteorologist
Gene, microbiologlst
Gil, fisherman
Glen, forest ranger
Grace, minister
Grady, teacher
Hank, ropemaker
Harmony, marriage counselor
Harold, town crier
Harry, barber
Hector, (metric) surveyor
Herb, gardener
Hiram, personnel director
Holly, Christmas elf
Homer, baseball player
Honey, beekeeper
Horace, male prostitute
Hy, doorman
Jack, car mechanic
Jenny, mule driver
Jim, physical education teacher
Jimmy, locksmith
Joe, espresso guy
John, plumber
Josh, comedian
Kitty, veterinarian
Lee, sailor
Les, mathematician
Lou, British plumber
Maddie, psychiatrist
Manuel, technical writer
Marius, bridal shop owner/J of P
Mark, teacher
Marshall, law enforcement officer
Matt, wrestler
Melody, composer
Merry, comedienne
Mickey, pharmacist
Midge, exterminator/entomologist
Mike, announcer
Miles, surveyor/trucker
Misty, meteorologist
Monty, male stripper
Morry, mathematician
Mort, undertaker
Nat, entomologist
Nelson, wrestler
Nettie, fisherwoman
Nick, British prison guard
Norm, behavioral psychologist
Oscar, movie actor
Pat, masseur
Patty, short-order cook
Pearl, knitter/jeweller
Peg, woodworker
Penny, numismatist
Pete, coal miner
Peter, urologist/pornstar
Phil, gas station attendant/dentist
Randy, pornstar
Rashid, dermatologist
Ray, nuclear physicist
Red, librarian/dyer
Reed, oboist/librarian
Rich, banker
Ricky, soda jerk
Rob, burglar
Robin, ornithologist
Rocco, geologist
Rod, surveyor/pornstar
Roger, airline pilot
Rose, florist
Ruby, jeweler
Rudy, Don Rickles impersonator
Russell, cattle thief
Rusty, pipefitter / metallurgist
Sadie, speech teacher (say “D”)
Sam, missile technician
Sandy, lifeguard
Shelly, beachcomber
Sherry, winemaker
Sonny, meteoroloqist
Spike, hairdresser/volleyballer
Stu, cook
Stewart, cabin attendant
Sue, lawyer
Sy, respiratory therapist
Terry, bath attendant
Teddy, lingerie designer
Toby, Shakespearean actor (Toby or not Toby)
Tom, turkey farmer
Tony, stage actor
Tracy, detective/bounty hunter
Trip, travel aqent
Ty, haberdasher
Van, mover
Vinnie, sommeilier
Wally, builder
Wanda, bread maker (as in the bread with the baloons on the wrapper)
Ward, politician
Warren, policeman/rabbit breeder
Whit, comedian
Will, estate planner
Winnie, horse trainer

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